I am in a position that I know I have to say something, and I’m just going to write as I think, but I’m not sure what to say, I guess those of you that has been an inspiration to me these last few months, to step out and friend a stranger, I will never find the words, I know I will be forever grateful and hold a special place in my heart for you, and there are a lot of you, I never met before, and still yet have to. Then there are those who are not so sympathetic and screw their face in disappointment, to you I do know what to say, I have spend most of my life living in fear, never feeling content or enjoyed the life that has passed me by now, that you take for granted, spending mine fighting for my right to a normal existence, to enjoy and celebrate life as every other Canadian Citizen. Then one day I said ForK dis, stopping dead in my tracks, the day I said Enough is Enough, kill me if you must, but I’m not going to take it no more, nor am I going out alone, if I go your coming with me, and it will be the greatest battle of GOOD Against EVIL you will ever see. Then I also began to pray, and for the next 12 years or more I would endure Hell on earth, determined to fight to the death. I took everything they threw at me and threw some of it back, because to conquer Evil you must lose the fear, as this is the energy that the evil feeds on. In essence I practiced what I now preach, “Stand UP” for what you believe in, what’s right and be strong and determined, never to back down. After all I did not brake a law or commit any crime, that ons falls on the other side. Yes I have received lots of messages in between the lines, you do not intimidate me nor do I fear you. What I did is what every victim of Bullying has done before me, everybody kept saying, tell your story…tell your story, well that’s exactly what I have been doing, telling my story, it’s just my story makes you feel the fear, more of a horror story, the making of a best seller I’m sure. After a life time of fear and anxiety, once I suffered major panic attacks, but have moved forward from those now. I am sure if some idiot, had stopped you every day and beat the crap out of you, and you never said anything, not a word, just put your tail between your leg’s and crawled away like a coward, knowing tomorrow it would happen all over again and again and again, but you kept his secret and suffered in silence. Do you think that after 12 or 15 years you would finally say, OK that’s enough of that, no one would be able to hold their tongue as well, but ya I’m sure you would, we all would.
So where I am right now, well I stay close to home, you see when the time comes that I must go to the corner store, it’s a big chore for me because to walk out into the unknown, exiting apartment door causes extreme anxiety, I have to motivate and prepare myself, so please forgive me if I lose my footing at times, due to frustration and anxiety, maybe say things I’m sorry for later, it do happen and I am truly sorry to those of you. I have always suffered in my own way but still stuck my neck out to help the other guy, every time, I never put me first and never will. In closing the battle will continue, and I will be right there “living like a warrior” 🙂 to continue to fight, and stand up for who I am and what I believe in, you see, don’t matter to me what anyone thinks or say, I will not cease until someone listens or I stop breathing…cheers lotsa Love Terry