The common mistake that bullies make is assuming that because someone is nice that he or she is weak. Those traits have nothing to do with each other. In fact, it takes considerable strength and character to be a good person. ~ Mary Elizabeth Williams
The Impact on Adult Life and Relationships
An explosion of research on bullying has raised our collective awareness of the serious impacts it can have on children. No longer do we accept it as an innocuous rite of passage, just a part of growing up that we grin and bear and grow out of later. But do we grow out of it, or are there lingering effects that last well beyond the school playgrounds and lunchrooms?
Is bullying traumatic and, if so, does it last into adult life? Are there life-long consequences or are the effects pretty much shed as people grow? Are some of us more resilient than others? Are there any positive or unexpected outcomes as a result of being bullied (or having been a bully) as a child? In an effort to answer these questions, Bullying Scars describes childhood bullying from the vantage point of those victims, bullies, and bystanders who are now adults; the book discusses how lives have been changed, and explores the range of reactions adults exhibit.
The research gathered for this book, through interviews with over 800 people, points out that even adult decision-making is often altered by the victimisation they experience as children at the hands of peers, siblings, parents, or educators.
Written in an engaging and accessible style that draws heavily from the rich interview data that deLara has collected, this book will be of interest to anyone struggling with the lingering effects of being bullied. Additionally, it is highly relevant to mental health professionals — counsellors, therapists, social workers, clinical psychologists — working with clients who are dealing with these issues.
Table of Contents
- Chapter 1 Bullying: The parameters of the problem into adulthood
- Chapter 2 “Adult Post-Bullying Syndrome”
- Chapter 3 Being Different: The Traces that Difference Leaves Behind
- Chapter 4 “People-pleasing v. Revenge”: Consequences on development of being bullied
- Chapter 5 “Angry Words Echo in My Brain”: Health and Mental Health Impacts
- Chapter 6 Consequences in Relationships
- Chapter 7 “I Am So Self-Conscious”: The Impact of Sexual Harassment
- Chapter 8 Does Bullying Affect Decisions?
- Chapter 9 It Comes Home to Roost: Bullying and the Family
- Chapter 10 “Is There Anything Positive?”: Unexpected Outcomes of Bullying and Harassment
Ellen Walser deLara, PhD, MSW, is Associate Professor on the faculty of the School of Social Work at Syracuse University. She is also a practicing family therapist with over 35 years’ experience working with children, adolescents, and adults in both school and clinical settings. Her areas of research expertise address child maltreatment, school violence, and bullying from systemic and developmental perspectives. She has interviewed hundreds of teenagers and adults specifically about their secondary school experiences. Dr. deLara’s research has been featured on national and international media including: “The Today Show”; “Dateline”; “The Dr. Phil Show”; The Washington Post; CBC; and National Public Radio.
Also of Interest
Deborah Padgett, Benjamin Henwood, and Sam Tsemberis