Adult Bully’s “The Five Types”

I am re-blogging this post which I origanally posted Feb 21, 2013, as there are others that need re-posting as well, this being the first. “Adult Bully’s The Five Types”, the one we are dealing with 90% of the time is number one, The Narcissistic Adult Bully, please read the description below: “You may not hear a lot about adult bullying, but it is a problem. Read this article to learn more about different types of adult bullies and get some ideas on how to deal with an adult bully. Adult bullying is a serious problem and may require legal action. One would think that as people mature and progress through life, that they would stop behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, just as children and teenagers can be bullies. While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying, the fact of the matter is that adult bullying exists. The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and “show them who is boss.” There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:

1. Narcissistic Adult Bully



This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or herself, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.

2. Impulsive Adult Bully:



Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this adult bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.

3. Physical Bully:

While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the adult bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim’s property, rather than physically confronting the victim.

4. Verbal Adult Bully:

Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage – to the bully – of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.

5. Secondary Adult Bully:

This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves. (Definitions courtesy of Bullying Statistics http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/)

Other Articles:

• Peel Manor “Home for Senior Citizens”
• Conservative Government Rejects “National Bullying Prevention Strategy”
• How To Save Yourself
• What Are Panic Attacks
• The 6-Award
• The “L” Project
• T.K Delivery Services

Evil Landlord #1

First I want to apologize, it seems I have missed a whole day, with moderating the sites and the start up of the new affiliate business, it’s been crazy busy getting the pages set up, and it’s not finished yet, and I have fallin behind on my readings, but I will get to them. This post will be yet another addition to “My Story”, I want to take you back to Sept 4, 2009, I was living in Mississauga, Ontario and still working at horror hell “SunGard”. It was sort of their last ditch effort to get rid of me, SunGard that is, any way the story begins with a friend appearing at my door late June of 2009. After a couple of weeks went by I came to find out he was running from the “Law”, to make along story short, he now had to be back in Renfrew Ontario for 5 pm for a meeting with his probation officer, it’s now 12:55 pm, a five hour drive to get him there, knowing it was next impossible to accomplish. So I picked up the phone and placed a call to the officer in question, this gentleman was very upset and yelling on the phone, refusing to give any lead way, saying if he was not on time for his meeting, he would call the police to pick him up and they were going to incarcerate him for one year. After twenty minutes or so, begging and pleading, I managed to convince him to wait as we were leaving immediately. Well needless to say while en route I would end up almost losing my vehicle, a new 2008 PT Cruiser only a couple months old to the Ontario Provincial Police due to speeding, she clocked me going 50 kms over the speed limit and in a construction zone no less, current legislation included confiscating the said vehicle and double the normal fine in construction zones for speeding, but for reasons unknown she (the officer) said she would not take my vehicle, and would not double the fine, but I did get a $375 speeding ticket. We arrived in Renfrew one hour late but the guy was in his office waiting, now I had the task of convincing him not to lock a 17 year old boy up for a year with harden criminals, which would do him more harm then good, but he did agree to release him into my custody for 90 days and to return to Mississauga with me, needless to say the boy was as happy as a pig in shit 🙂 I did what I did because I knew him from the day he was born and he has held a special place in my heart and still do, like the son I will never have, even though he is afraid to be seen with me now or to speak to me for that matter. The fact he was going to be living with me for three months, caused issues with my landlord, once he knew I had company living in my unit he wanted more rent. I have been living in this unit for more than 3 years at the time, but to keep the peace I was paying $600 a month, I suggested an increase of $40 a month, he agreed and I assumed that was the end of it, but nooooooooooo I was wrong.One evening I received a call from the landlord regarding a leak under my shower, leaking down to the unit below me, he had to remove my shower to repair it and wanted permission to enter my unit the next day, I granted him the permission, but I would live to regret it though. Arriving home the next day we would find the plumbers in the unit just finishing the shower uninstall, but they had to order a new one, and they would not be able to install it until the next day, leaving us with no running water in the washroom at all, not even for the toilet, I was not impressed but what can you do. I would call him every day for the next four days, inquiring to his intentions for the install of the shower, having to take time off work, 4 days due to no running water, we proceeded back to Renfrew to wait it out. On day four I called one of my brother’s in Brampton and requested he place a call to him for me because he, the landlord had not returned any of my calls or messages. My brother placed a call to him right away but got no answer either but left a message, so on day five I left and headed back to Mississauga, not being able to loose any more time from work, but once I arrived late that night around 11 pm, I was surprised to see the plumbers working so late installing the new shower, it was certainly a relief. It also felt good the next morning, day five to wake up, shower and head to work, but it would be in vain, after 6 1/2 years it would be the day that SunGard would fire me. Now relieved that I no longer had to tolerate the workplace Bullying and Mobbing, but my life was now over, only to get worst. In closing over the last four years I have often wondered why or how I was still alive, and where my strength was coming from because in late 2010 I spent 8 days in bed, depressed and not able, nor did I have any desire to get out, I just wanted to die, but that’s when by chance I would meet my God sent, the one responsible for where and who I am today….lotsa luv mon ami.

THE POWER OF WORDS

Change your words and change your world

This is truly a fine example of how just changing your words and how you say them, can have a profound effect or change to any situation that you would never expect. 🙂

In Good & God We Trust

Thank you so much for signing up to volunteer for BETTERLegal. We are happy to announce that our first online training will be held on Saturday, June 1st. As we get closer to that day, we will announce a specific time and provide more details to you. Since the program launched on April 2nd, we have had over 100 law students and lawyers like you sign up to participate to use it gets better videos and materials to help support the work that legal services organizations are doing for the LGBT community. In addition, we have already partnered with Lambda Legal, the ACLU of Southern California, the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund and we are working on partnerships with over 20 other organizations who have reached out to us. We are glad to have you on our team and look forward to the amazing things that we will accomplish together! Sincerely, Elliot Rozenberg, Director, BETTERLegal
For more information and to find out how it works.
There are those of us that have a burning or yearning, the thoughts of what excatly is going through the mind at that very moment, putting it bluntly, they shoot themselves, take an overdose or hang themselves, it’s that moment when it will all finally stop, you will be free finally, that’s how bad it can be, believing something so horrific, is the only answer, only to find yourself very dead as well, they end their life (Pain). I honestly can say I know, because at the age of just 19 years old, “I” a failed suicide attempt, as they say “Been There-Done That” I was there and know all the terrible feelings of hurt and pain, and how much you pray for it to stop but never did, until I realized that it was GOD who decided my faith at that moment, he said no my son not now I have things I need you to do for me, but let it be known, I will not decide for you how your life will be, Good or Bad?, nor will I make life wonderful for you, “No” I won’t, as only you have that power, but if you trust me, let me lead the way, I will see you have all that you will need, courage, strength, knowledge and Guidance, you may not see me but I will be at your side no matter what, as long as you follow me you will succeed. at this point I’m Feeling really bad, for my sin and cannot look God in the eye, with tears in my eyes asking GOD for forgiveness, saying over and over how truly sorry I was..he said do not be sorry my son, for I have an abundance of forgiveness just follow me, so I did! A difficult task for some but if you really tried to replace feelings of HATE with LOVE and understanding, you will see it’s a positive step in changing the world. We all have the ability to Hate, we also have the ability to love, always try to choose Love because LoveWorks. In closing, I am sincerely honored for the opportunity to be of assistance and associated with “BetterLegal” and the “It Gets Better Project” So I want to share my sincere gratitude and say thank you very much to Mr. Dan Savage, creator of the “It Gets Better Project” and Mr. Elliot Rozenberg, Director, “BetterLegal” for enabling me this opportunity to participate and offer my assistance for the wellness and security of all LGBTQI people’s …Lotsa Luv 🙂

Related Articles:
– Plan Canada: Save A Life
– Bill 168, Occupational Health and Safety Amendment.
– Human Rights Watch
– What Happened?
– Conservative Government Rejects “National Bullying Prevention Strategy”
– Bullying in The Workplace: It Has to “STOP”

The Bully Effect

The New B.P

Findings from a UK-US collaborative study underline social problems faced by those exposed to bullying in childhood, reports Ruchi Chopda. A study led by professor Dieter Wolke of the University of Warwick and William E Copeland of Duke University Medical Centre, has shown that struggling to hold down a regular job and poor social relationships are some of the adverse outcomes faced in adulthood by those exposed to bullying in childhood. The research, the findings of which have been published in Psychological Science, looks beyond the study of victims to include all those affected — the victims , the bullies themselves and those who fall into both categories, namely, ‘bully victims.’
Around 1,420 participants were assessed four to six times in the 9-16 years and 24-26 years age group as part of this study. Elaborates Wolke, “The participants were assessed with structured interviews as well as health assessments…

View original post 148 more words

Boy, 9, Found Hanged ‘was Bullied for Being White’

A boy of nine who was found hanged is believed to have killed himself after he was ‘bullied for being white’ by an Asian gang at school. Aaron Dugmore – thought to be one of the youngest children in the UK to commit suicide – was discovered in his bedroom after being tormented for months, his parents said. They said Aaron was threatened with a plastic knife by one Asian pupil, who warned him: ‘Next time it will be a real one.’ He was also allegedly told by another pupil that ‘all the white people should be dead’ and he was forced to hide from the bullies in the playground at lunchtime. Aaron’s mother, Kelly-Marie Dugmore, 30, and stepfather Paul Jones, 43, said that despite complaints to the school, nothing was done to stop the bullying. Aaron had recently started in Year Five at Erdington Hall Primary School in Birmingham, a school where 75 per cent of pupils come from ethnic minority backgrounds. According to staff at the school he had already ‘settled in quickly’ with his classmates after he joined the school last September when his family moved nearby. The school, which caters for 450 pupils aged three to 11, received an ‘inadequate’ rating by Ofsted inspectors last year. Aaron was discovered by Miss Dugmore hanged in his bedroom at the family home in the Erdington district of Birmingham at about 6pm on February 11, 2013. He was taken to Birmingham Children’s Hospital where doctors desperately attempted to revive him but he died the following day from a suspected cardiac arrest. His mother said she was convinced the taunts led to her son killing himself. ‘Aaron got on with all the children at his last school, and for him to have been bullied because of the colour of his skin makes me feel sick to my stomach,’ she said. Mr Jones said that from Aaron’s first day of joining the school he had noticed a change in him. ‘He became argumentative with his brothers and sisters, which wasn’t like him at all,’ he added. ‘Eventually he told us that he was being bullied by a group of Asian children at school and had to hide from them in the playground at lunchtime.’ His mother claimed she went to see the head teacher of the school several times only to be told: ‘You didn’t have to come to this school, you chose to come here. (Seems it’s not even safe to be just a white kid! T.K)

Related Articles:
– Suicides
– Peel Manor “Home for Senior Citizens”
– Three Ways To Knock Down An Adult Bully
– Canada: Juries Punish Employers: Two Recent Cases Highlight The Risk Of Treating Employees Poorly
– William Shatner Sings “O’ Canada”

Another Teacher Suicide With Workplace Bullying Causal Factors

Several factors typically merge that exacerbate the misery that convinces individuals who choose to die by suicide to act. Research has found that in workplaces where bullying operates simultaneously with several other negative conditions, it is the bullying that has the greatest deleterious effect on people — bullied targets and witnesses. Given that many people’s identities are centered around work and what one does for compensation, work can dominate home life factors.
Finally, to connect the dots, misery from work travels home readily. Bullying at work inevitably strains domestic relationships. Thus, for targets exposed to unremitting stress at work from bullying, a very personalized form of abuse, eventually it feels like the world is closing in on them. Taking one’s life suddenly becomes an option when no alternatives are visible.
Such a case was reported in the Bassett Unified School District in southern California. Jennifer Lenihan was a Bassett High art teacher, known by students for personally buying class supplies, creativity and loving the art museum. According to press reports quoting her stepfather, Lenihan was driven to suicide by the school principal, Robert Reyes and assistant principal Jimmy Lima. There were reports of the two administrators shaming Lenihan in front of teachers and students. And she was assigned a class with which she was unfamiliar (a classic tactic used to destabilize good veteran teachers) and told to teach the class or lose another class she wanted to teach. She took stress leave, receiving half her salary for a short time. Her claims for disability insurance and workers’ compensation were both denied. She took out a personal loan to live. The district gave her two options: resign or apply for a waiting list for rehire. She was at the end of her rope. Her mother had given her rent money. The next day, July 1, she took her life. Teachers union officers said the treatment Lenihan received is common at the district. Further, Reyes and Lima have a record of bullying teachers. The new district superintendent said there was no “written form” record of complaints from Lenihan. He said the district has no “morale” problem.
Via Workplace Bullying Institute Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

Other Articles:
– Freedom
– Dozens attend protest for teen who committed suicide after bullying
– DayofPink: Bullying should never be justified
– IN OTTAWA: THE I AM WHO I AM CAMPAIGN

Please Support LGBT Survey Project for Tanzania.

Summary
There is almost no documentation of the needs of and challenges faced by LGBT people in Tanzania. Using in-person and web-based interviews, we propose to survey at least 600 LGBT individuals-The survey will assess:
(1) the existence and impact of discrimination and harassment by Tanzanian law enforcement; (2) the existence and impact of discrimination in public services – including access to health services; and (3) discrimination and harassment in employment.
What is the issue, problem, or challenge?
LGBT human rights activists face official harassment. Likewise, there are reports of LGBT individuals facing harassment from law enforcement officials who use criminal charges as means of obtaining bribes. Societal discrimination and a lack of understanding of LGBT people also leads to diminished access to health services. Same-sex sexual activity has been criminalized. And few organizations specifically advocate for LGBT persons in Tanzania.
How will this project solve this problem?
The results, situated within human rights and domestic law, may then serve as a tool for policy advocacy, LGBT civil society capacity building and for encouraging support from other human rights organizations.
Potential Long Term Impact
Reduce incidences of Human Rights violation against LGBT individuals in Tanzania
Funding Information
Total Funding Received to Date: $100
Remaining Goal to be Funded: $10,900
Total Funding Goal: $11,000
Resources
http://www.wezeshatz.org
Donate by US Mobile Phone
Text GIVE 15035 to 80088 to donate $10 to Please support LGBT Survey Project. Message and data rates may apply. Only works for US mobile phones.

Raise A Giant

At Green Giant we know getting kids to eat vegetables is just one part of ensuring they grow up healthy. One of the biggest threats to kids’ health and happiness is “Bullying”. When a child is bullied by a peer it can turn his or her life into a daily gauntlet of fear and anxiety. Kids need help to navigate the world—a world bigger and scarier than the one we grew up in—with confidence and pride. That’s why Green Giant is partnering with PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center to help parents “Raise A Giant” and put a stop to bullying in their community.
What Does it Mean To Be A Giant?
Being a giant isn’t about being the biggest or the best. It’s about finding your inner courage to rise above the crowd and do what is right. It means using your voice to stand up for others, which sometimes may mean standing up to your own friends. Studies show that an effective way to stop bullying is for kids to simply speak up and say, “That’s not okay.” But asking kids to have the courage to stand up to bullying is a tall order and that’s why they need our help.
How Do You Raise A Giant?
We’re asking you to write a letter to the kids in your life telling them why they have the courage to stand up to bullying and asking them to do their best to be a giant in their life.

Help Us Spread The Word
1. Write a letter to your kids about standing up to bullying and post it in our letter gallery.
2. Encourage your friends and family to write their own letters and post them at RaiseAGiant.com
3. Share the Raise a Giant Video, Infographic, and Tips For Talking To Your Kids About Bullying on your blog, Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter accounts.
4. Change your Facebook profile picture to the Raise A Giant icon to help spread the word. With your encouragement we can help all of our kids create a safer, happier world.Green Giant is able to provide tips on how to handle bullying with those impacted most – young people.

Related Posts:
– We Day – Evolution of a Movement
– Unite Against Bullying on Unity Day, Oct. 9
– Project Love

Unite Against Bullying on Unity Day, Oct. 9

October is National Bullying Prevention Month

Join the movement! Celebrate a Decade Together Against Bullying.

Unity Day is Wednesday October 19, 2016 

National Bullying Prevention Month is a nationwide campaign founded in 2006 by PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center. The campaign is held during the month of October and unites communities around the world to educate and raise awareness of bullying prevention.

Over the past 10 years, this campaign grew from a small week-long event to a worldwide effort with multiple activities throughout October. National Bullying Prevention Month is supported by hundreds of schools, major corporations, and celebrities.

Be a part of this exciting anniversary and spread the message: The End of Bullying Begins With Me! read more »»»»»»»»»»»»

Supporters nationwide will “Make it Orange, Make it End” during PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Month. As a show of support for the 13 million American children who are bullied each year, PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center is inviting everyone to wear orange on Unity Day, Wednesday, Oct. 9, during National Bullying Prevention Month. Since Unity Day’s debut in 2011, thousands of people in schools, communities, corporations, and online have come together across the county to “Make It Orange, Make It End.” “Nearly one-third of all school-aged children are bullied each year,” said Julie Hertzog, director of PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center, which sponsors Unity Day and National Bullying Prevention Month. “We need to show students that they’re not alone. Unity Day is the time to send a national, unified message that bullying is no longer acceptable in our society.” Anyone can join the cause during October by wearing PACER’s official National Bullying Prevention Month T-shirt. The campaign is a partnership with CustomInk, the “design online” custom T-shirt company, as part of its “Be Good to Each Other Campaign” that encourages people to take a stand for kindness and tolerance by wearing bullying prevention T-shirts. Proceeds support PACER’s bullying prevention programs, and more information is available at PACER.org/bullying/nbpm.  In addition to wearing orange, people can update their Facebook status with the Unity Day message, “Share” and “Attend” the Unity Day Facebook event, or make a statement about bullying by holding a Unity Dance. Students will distribute orange “Unity” ribbons, write “Unity” on their hands or school binders, or participate in Project Connect by creating a visual representation of coming together in unity to prevent bullying. A free student event planning guide is also available to help teens organize local Unity Day events. PACER originated National Bullying Prevention Month in 2006 to raise awareness of the issue. National partners of the month include the National Education Association and the American Federation for Teachers, PTA, and many others. About PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center: PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center provides creative, interactive resources that are designed to benefit all students, including those with disabilities.

It offers educators, students, families and individuals tools to address bullying in schools, the community, and online. For more information, visit PACER.org/bullying or call (952) 838-9000 or (888) 248-0822 (national toll free). Contact: Sarah Busch (sarah.busch@pacer.org)(952) 838-9000, National toll-free (888) 248-0822, SOURCE PACER Center, Copyright (C) 2013 PR Newswire. All rights reserved.

Article last updated October 3, 2016

We Day – Evolution of a Movement

October is National Bullying Prevention Month

Human Kindness