Adult Bully’s “The Five Types”

bully-b-30-05-2013

I am re-blogging this post which I origanally posted Feb 21, 2013, as there are others that need re-posting as well, this being the first. “Adult Bully’s The Five Types”, the one we are dealing with 90% of the time is number one, The Narcissistic Adult Bully, please read the description below: “You may not hear a lot about adult bullying, but it is a problem. Read this article to learn more about different types of adult bullies and get some ideas on how to deal with an adult bully. Adult bullying is a serious problem and may require legal action. One would think that as people mature and progress through life, that they would stop behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, just as children and teenagers can be bullies. While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying, the fact of the matter is that adult bullying exists. The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and “show them who is boss.” There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:

  1. Narcissistic Adult Bully
  2. first-place

    This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or herself, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.

  3. Impulsive Adult Bully:
  4. 2nd-place

    Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this adult bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.

  5. Physical Bully:
  6. third4While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the adult bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim’s property, rather than physically confronting the victim.

  7. Verbal Adult Bully:
  8. 4thWords can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage – to the bully – of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.

  9. Secondary Adult Bully:

2pm153-hr904-2This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves. (Definitions courtesy of Bullying Statistics http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/)

Other Articles:

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Evil Landlord #1

new-headerMe in da KitchenFirst I want to apologize, it seems I have missed a whole day, with moderating the sites and the start up of the new affiliate business, it’s been crazy busy getting the pages set up, and it’s not finished yet, and I have fallin behind on my readings, but I will get to them. This post will be yet another addition to “My Story”, I want to take you back to Sept 4, 2009, I was living in Mississauga, Ontario and still working at horror hell “SunGard”. It was sort of their last ditch effort to get rid of me, SunGard that is, any way the story begins with a friend appearing at my door late June of 2009. After a couple of weeks went by I came to find out he was running from the “Law”, to make along story short, he now had to be back in Renfrew Ontario for 5 pm for a meeting with his probation officer, it’s now 12:55 pm, a five hour drive to get him there, knowing it was next impossible to accomplish. So I picked up the phone and placed a call to the officer in question, this gentleman was very upset and yelling on the phone, refusing to give any lead way, saying if he was not on time for his meeting, he would call the police to pick him up and they were going to incarcerate him for one year. After twenty minutes or so, begging and pleading, I managed to convince him to wait as we were leaving immediately. PT CruserWell needless to say while en route I would end up almost losing my vehicle, a new 2008 PT Cruiser only a couple months old to the Ontario Provincial Police due to speeding, she clocked me going 50 kms over the speed limit and in a construction zone no less, current legislation included confiscating the said vehicle and double the normal fine in construction zones for speeding, but for reasons unknown she (the officer) said she would not take my vehicle, and would not double the fine, but I did get a $375 speeding ticket. We arrived in Renfrew one hour late but the guy was in his office waiting, now I had the task of convincing him not to lock a 17 year old boy up for a year with harden criminals, which would do him more harm then good, but he did agree to release him into my custody for 90 days and to return to Mississauga with me, needless to say the boy was as happy as a pig in shit 🙂 I did what I did because I knew him from the day he was born and he has held a special place in my heart and still do, like the son I will never have, even though he is afraid to be seen with me now or to speak to me for that matter. The KitchenThe fact he was going to be living with me for three months, caused issues with my landlord, once he knew I had company living in my unit he wanted more rent. I have been living in this unit for more than 3 years at the time, but to keep the peace I was paying $600 a month, I suggested an increase of $40 a month, he agreed and I assumed that was the end of it, but nooooooooooo I was wrong.One evening I received a call from the landlord regarding a leak under my shower, leaking down to the unit below me, he had to remove my shower to repair it and wanted permission to enter my unit the next day, I granted him the permission, butThe Horror Washroom I would live to regret it though. Arriving home the next day we would find the plumbers in the unit just finishing the shower uninstall, but they had to order a new one, and they would not be able to install it until the next day, leaving us with no running water in the washroom at all, not even for the toilet, I was not impressed but what can you do. I would call him every day for the next four days, inquiring to his intentions for the install of the shower, having to take time off work, 4 days due to no running water, we proceeded back to Renfrew to wait it out. On day four I called one of my brother’s in Brampton and requested he place a call to him for me because he, the landlord had not returned any of my calls or messages. My brother placed a call to him right away but got no answer either but left a message, Me SunGard 2007so on day five I left and headed back to Mississauga, not being able to loose any more time from work, but once I arrived late that night around 11 pm, I was surprised to see the plumbers working so late installing the new shower, it was certainly a relief. It also felt good the next morning, day five to wake up, shower and head to work, but it would be in vain, after 6 1/2 years it would be the day that SunGard would fire me. Now relieved that I no longer had to tolerate the workplace Bullying and Mobbing, but my life was now over, only to get worst. In closing over the last four years I have often wondered why or how I225113_10150978168096890_2016419255_n was still alive, and where my strength was coming from because in late 2010 I spent 8 days in bed, depressed and not able, nor did I have any desire to get out, I just wanted to die, but that’s when by chance I would meet my God sent, the one responsible for where and who I am today….lotsa luv mon ami.
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Bullies Beware by Paul M. Kramer

To purchase Paul's Book click the image.
To purchase Paul’s Book click the image.
Hi Paul My apologies for taking so long to get to your book, with my studies and all other readings, I try to stick to the first received to last just to be fair, nevertheless I have just finished reading your book and I must say, looking at it from a child’s perspective or rather a victim of Bullying perspective, you have hit the nail on the head.

It’s informative and touches the heart of the issue of Bullying, as a child reading it, I see he or she asking questions as to why they were Bullying Mikey and about why they were being so mean, which your book surely pro-tray’s clearly. They had no reason, just that some boy’s are just mean, and there will always be Bully’s or mean kids.

Also great that you touched on taking karate as self defense, I believe this is a great idea and should not be totally ruled out as an option. It’s good to know self defense Technics, or at least be able to stand up for yourself, but more times then not, it just escalates and or may create another more serious problem, reporting the Bullying to an adult, teacher, principle or family member is the first and safest step to take in resolving the issue and solve the problem, as you cannot stop violence with violence.

In closing as I read, the story line began to peak my interest immediately, also the illustration of images adds to the reality of the issues at hand and giving the reader a clearer picture, as I continued to read, also highlighting the topic. I assume from a child’s perspective it’s a must read, to the point and informative in every aspect, that in my opinion would peak and keep the child’s attention, making your book a benefit and an asset to add to school library’s. I love it great job and thanx for asking for my opinion….cheers my friend.

Best regards

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The real meaning of bullying

disabilityDear Editor: It’s sad to see the actual meaning of bullying and fighting against bullying has changed in to something else. There is a difference between being bullied and teased. Being bullied means being treated poorly because of race, weight, their clothes, the way they talk or for their extraordinary intelligence — things for which they have no fault. Now I am reading more about kids and people who get teased because of their own fault. For example, if I made wrong choices and people around me began teasing me, I should take the responsibility instead of blaming everyone around me or committing suicide. The media should publish stories about those who get bullied and never thought of committing suicide and are now successful in their lives.
People like Michael Phelps, Sandra Bullock and Justin Timberlake, who were bullied and outcast but are now successful. They got inspiration from that hate instead of it finishing their life.
Is this really something we want to spread? Do something wrong and when you get caught, instead of making it right, start trying suicide attempts, get attention from media so others will do the same for attention.
We should be proud that we are living in a country where these topics and problems get recognized.
I was born in a culture where these problems never got attention. I was born with a disability and started getting bullied at six.
I was never accepted by that society, but I came out a strong and positive person.
It was not my fault I was born this way, but in that society the majority of people think if you are born with a disability God has issues with you and you are bad luck.
It was difficult to handle, but I did, and all without telling anything to my mom, because I didn’t want her to get hurt more as my disability was already a pain in her life.
Instead, I started spreading more smile and love, looking at the positive aspects of my life. I started looking towards those who love me instead of who those who bullied me.
Today I am an encouragement for my children.
We should encourage the stories of those who will leave a positive effect on our youth. This is my request to media, please before publishing any bullying story do check the background of why he or she got bullied? Is this his/her fault? Did they make the wrong choices and now people around them are teasing them, which is wrong too but that is not bullying.
We must help those kids who made wrong choices to change their life.
I am teaching my children that if someone bullies you, it means you have something they are extremely jealous of.
I am trying to teach them that it’s not you, it’s them. It’s their way to release their anger or look cool.
In the end, you are the one responsible for your good or bad deeds and they are responsible for their own.

by Samreen Junaid, Windsong, Tuesday, March 4, 2014

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Galliano Parents Say Bullying led to Son’s Suicide

teen+bullied+01GALLIANO, La. — The Lafourche Parish Sheriff’s Office is investigating the death of a Galliano teenager Garyn Strong, 15, who apparently took his own life. His parents, Thad and Maureen Strong, said bullies tormented their son for the past four years. “They took away my buddy, my fishing partner, my hunting partner, my son,” said Thad Strong. “The bullying needs to stop,” said Maureen Strong. “It’s an epidemic that’s not just local or national, it’s worldwide.” Thad said he found Garyn’s lifeless body in the family kitchen Friday night. “I found him hanging and I cut him down. I didn’t know what to do.” Maureen said Garyn opened up about the bullying just six months ago. She said the bullies said hateful and cruel things to her son.
“There were gay slurs and they were calling him gay names and he would say if I would be gay, he said I don’t care, but he didn’t approve of them calling him something that he wasn’t. They would call him fat.”
The Strongs say they brought the bullying to the attention of officials at South Lafourche High School where their son attended classes. School officials were not available to comment on Monday because of the Martin Luther King holiday.
“This boy kept saying I’m going to beat you down, I’m going to beat you down,” said Thad Strong. “He couldn’t go no where. He couldn’t do nothing.”
The Lafourche Parish Sheriff’s Office confirms it is conducting an investigation into the bullying allegations.
The Strongs say those who bullied their son need to be stopped.
“Garyn’s gone,” said Maureen Strong. “They are going to go on to somebody else and we don’t want that to happen.”
The Strongs say they would like to set up a foundation in Garyn’s name to teach parents and young people about the consequences of bullying.
“If their grades start dropping quick and they just keep on saying I hate school, I hate school, I hate school, they’re something going wrong in that school,” said Thad Strong.
“One word that’s inappropriate can crush somebody’s soul,” said Maureen Strong.
Paul Murphy / Eyewitness News
Posted on January 20, 2014 at 6:37 PM
Updated today at 4:03 PM

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Archives: Suicides
Lafourche school board says it’s cooperating in investigation of student’s suicide
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Decreasing Juvenile Delinquency

prevention pre2prevention preOutside Class “He who opens a school door closes a prison.” –Victor Hugo

Welcome to the education edition of Prevention Perspectives! This eNewsletter is packed with tips and information about effective methods to decrease delinquency, the real dangers of cyberbullying, and more. We hope it helps you bring new ideas and refreshed hope to the New Year.

Supporting Students and Decreasing Juvenile Delinquency
The public school system in Kalamazoo, Michigan has a number of good reasons to believe that therapeutic alternatives to treating juvenile delinquency are effective, among them the 57% decrease in area juvenile arrests since 2008. Read more about how KPS’s multi-dimensional approach to keeping kids in school has played a role in decreased delinquency.

Want more ideas on keeping kids on track? Get helpful hints about behavior management.

Guidance for Creating a Positive School Climate
Can a positive school climate keep kids in school and out of trouble? US Secretary of Education Arne Duncan calls for a decrease in zero-tolerance policies and an increase in restorative practices and positive behavior supports. Watch his video and download the School Discipline Guidance Package prepared by the Departments of Education and Justice.

Socially Speaking
Head over to our Facebook page to grab the Promoting Safety on Campus eBook for your staff and clients.

Cyberbullies Are Real Bullies
Don’t believe in cyberbullying? That’s not uncommon, according to Delete Cyberbullying, an online organization dedicated to educating kids and parents about the real dangers of living in a connected world. Learning more about the organization is a great first step toward taking a stand against digital harassment—and students can apply for a scholarship in the process!

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Archives: Prevention Perspectives
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Stop Bullying With Empathy

empathy-quotesWhen I knocked on the door of teenage mother Amy, she held her infant baby girl in her arms and her toddler clung to her leg. Her glasses had been punched into her eyebrow, leaving a fresh cut, and she lead with, “Mary, he didn’t mean it, he said he was sorry, he even cried.” He was able to admit that he could not feel what she felt. He lacked empathy.

The absence of empathy is a common denominator in atrocities at home such as family violence, bullying at school and global atrocities such as the Holocaust, genocide and the marginalization of those who are different in some way. When levels of empathy go up, people are less likely to hurt one another, as they understand how it feels to be hurt. This is exactly what we see in the Roots of Empathy classrooms as children are able to identify with the feelings of the other. Randomized longitudinal research studies show that this aggression and bullying is reduced significantly and remains lower over time. Developing empathy allows us to identify our shared humanity. Roots of Empathy was born to draw the curtain on cruelty and build a bridge which connects us to one another, to our shared feelings.

We are all born with the capacity for empathy and it flowers or fades in the early years in response to the care we receive from loved ones. Roots of Empathy works from the love between a parent and an infant. Across the United States, hundreds of Roots of Empathy classrooms have brought together neighborhood infants and parents, along with a trained instructor and an award-winning curriculum to build empathy in children over the school year.

If you’d like to stop bullying and aggression early by introducing young children to empathy, you can learn more about the Roots of Empathy Indiegogo campaign here.

Empathy-definitionThe difference between “JUSTICE” and “EMPATHY” or are they the same or interconnected? we hear about this country and that country, this state or province or that state or province implementing legislation against and to combat Bullying. In all honesty legislation is not worth the paper it’s written on if it’s not enforced and from where I sit, legislation is a Government’s way of offering a solution, the same as a mother giving her baby a pacifier {silicone Nipple} to quiet the youngster. In most cases the mother is not giving the youngster the pacifier because of her empathy for the child but rather to shut the child up, to eliminate the noise. I feel no excitement, relief or accomplishment when reading all the articles on the creation of Anti-Bullying Legislation around the world because Canada has legislation against Bullying, is it preventing the destruction of my well being or slow death? “NO” indeed not, legislation in Canada is as invisible to me as the air I breath and as worthless as tits on a bull, there can be no “JUSTICE” without “EMPATHY” it’s just not justice at all.

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The Universal Declaration of Human Rights {Video Format}
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Kick Down the Door of Fear

Thomas MaxwellI don’t think we need to define what fear means to us. I feel like the more we define what Love means to us, it simply opens the up door to a dark room lighting everything inside, rather than us trying to run around the room with a flashlight. I don’t think that’s going to work really well, and I think its only going to scare us more than we already are. And every time we open up “this door” in one aspect of our lives, it ALLOWS God to come and fill us, “I Won’t Ever Stop Loving” by Simple Tom.

Fill us full of Love.

Fill us full of passion and inspiration and peace and its said that EVERYTHING that is good, is God, which is also different “distortions” or derivatives of Love that we’ve assigned different names for.

So God is Love.

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So EVERY single aspect of you that has fear is like “a door” that has not been opened yet, which is essentially a part of you that your not allowing God or Love to fill. What this means is that to allow God to fill our lives full of abundance and Love, we must face our fears, or “UNVEIL THE DARKNESS”, to release that which we are resisting or fearful of. This only happens though when we make the CONSCIOUS CHOICE to “open up that door” and face our fears. This will drive your EGO crazy, but it has to be done to reconnect with God and with Love, and to HEAL those parts of your life.
Know that its ok that your scared. I’m terrified some days of facing different situations.
But REMEMBER and KNOW, that as soon as you KICK that door down you will feel 100x better, And since we defined God as Love, passion and inspiration… I’d say its a pretty positive and worth while decision.

Cheers,
And have an amazing day!
Nov 27, 2013 by Thomas Maxwell

P.S. Remember that You ARE loved more than you can even imagine! Don’t ever EVER forget that. You literally cannot even conceive of how much you are Loved, Just thought you should know that.Love heart
If you have an extra minute or two, please check out this excellent tune by this extremely talented young man, Thomas Maxwell. Lotsa Luv is all you need cheers 🙂

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South Africa: Nelson Mandela’s Death a Tremendous Loss

Life Epitomized Brave Struggle for Freedom, Equality, Justice

Former president of South Africa Mandela chats with Britain's Prime Minister Brown in London(Johannesburg) – The death of Nelson Mandela on December 5, 2013, is a tremendous loss, not only for South Africa, but for the world.
Mandela, who led the decades-long struggle against apartheid in South Africa, was jailed for 27 years for his activism. Released in 1990, Mandela became South Africa’s first post-apartheid president in 1994. He was widely credited for shepherding the country’s peaceful transition to a more equitable and democratic system.
“Mandela’s life epitomized the fight for freedom, equality, and justice, all core human rights ideals,” said Kenneth Roth, executive director at Human Rights Watch. “His death reminds us of the uniqueness of his principled and dignified leadership, both in Africa and beyond.”
Nelson Mandela was born on July 18, 1918. After completing high school, he attended the University of Fort Hare, where he became involved in student politics. In 1944 he joined the African National Congress (ANC). Together with Walter Sisulu, Oliver Tambo, and other anti-apartheid activists, Mandela formed the ANC Youth League. In 1964 Mandela and 156 other ANC members were tried and convicted of sabotage and sentenced to life in prison.
At his trial, Mandela said:

I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if need be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.

African National Congress (ANC) President Nelson Mandela accompanied by local ANC candidate Terra La..Despite being sentenced to life in prison and spending a total of 27 years in jail until 1990, Nelson Mandela preached passionately and without evident bitterness about reconciliation and the need to build a new South African state. A cornerstone of that development is South Africa’s well regarded constitution, which enshrines fundamental values of human dignity, equality, and freedom, as well as the importance of nation building, public participation, and social cohesion.
Almost two decades into its democracy, South Africa is not the country that Mandela had said he hoped it would become. Inequality and poverty remain rife, the education and health sectors are inadequate, and South Africa remains divided by racial separation and deep economic inequality.
“Mandela led South Africa out of darkness and brutality,” Roth said. “The country’s next generation of leaders would do well to live up to his high standards and fervent commitment to human rights.”
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PureSight Owl

For the Third Year in a Row, the European Commission’s Safer Internet Program (SIP) Recognizes PureSight Owl as a Leading Parental Control Tool
gI_60371_15PureSight Owl, ranked highest overall in the SIP Benchmark III study for parental controls tools, funded by the European Commission’s Safer Internet Program (SIP-Bench III). This is the third year in a row that PureSight achieves the highest overall score in this benchmark, which tests for functionality, effectiveness, security and usability, for all age groups.
“The SIP report is a comprehensive and professional study of different parental control solutions. We are proud to be recognized by the SIP-Bench III as a leading parental control product,” said Ouri Azoulay, PureSight CEO. “At PureSight, we combine technological advantages, usability expertise and psychological considerations to empower children and teenagers to navigate safely though the Internet. We are confident that in the coming years parents will be more involved in their kids’ online lives and we are happy to take part, together with SIP, in this awareness raising trend.”
PureSight Owl allows parents to protect their children on devices such as PCs, smart phones, tablets and residential gateways. With PureSight Owl children are safe from cyberbullying on social networks such as Facebook. Parents can receive alerts about suspicious contacts and inappropriate chat partners and protect their kids from hurtful web content, as well as schedule Internet use. PureSight Owl can be downloaded at http://www.puresight.com.
About the SIP – Benchmark III Study
The objective of the SIP BENCH III – Benchmarking of parental control tools study is to help end users – notably parents and child carers – to choose the most appropriate parental control tool that best fits their needs. The study benchmarks effectiveness, performance, usability, configurability, transparency, security (resistance to hacking and other security issues), suitability, and customization for European users and new forms of digital content. This was done by means of eight-monthly objective, vendor/supplier-independent, expert assessments of products, tools and other systems and services that allow users to control children’s access to inappropriate content online and monitor their usage behavior.
About PureSight
PureSight Technologies Ltd. was established in 2008 with the mission of providing a safe online environment for the world’s children. Our product is distributed directly to parents, via ISPs, Mobile Operators, OEMs, and distributors.
For more information visit:
Our website at http://www.puresight.com.
Twitter @PureSight_Owl http://twitter.com/#!/PureSight_Owl
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/PureSight-Online-Safety/138438359513932
Email: dorit(dot)r(at)puresight(dot)com

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Bill 168, Occupational Health and Safety Amendment.

new-headerTo End The Week On a Positive note, have a great one…lotsa Luvmasthead-A_en
Fonseca, Hon Peter Minister of Labour
stock-photo-stop-intimidation-sign-127734746Bill 168 (Violence and Harassment in the Workplace) 2009 Ontario
Current Status: Royal Assent received Chapter Number: R.S.O. 2009 C.23
An Act to amend the Occupational Health and Safety Act with respect to violence and harassment in the workplace and other matters Ontario
Note: This Act amends the Occupational Health and Safety Act. For the legislative history of the Act, see the Table of Consolidated Public Statutes – Detailed Legislative History on e-laws. Her Majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the Legislative Assembly of the Province of Ontario, enacts as follows:
1. Subsection 1 (1) of the Occupational Health and Safety Act is amended by adding the following definitions: “workplace harassment” means engaging in a course of vexatious comment or conduct against a worker in a workplace that is known or ought reasonably to be known to be unwelcome; (“harcèlement au travail”)
“workplace violence” means:stop_workplace_bullying_mousepad
(a) the exercise of physical force by a person against a worker, in a workplace, that causes or could cause physical injury to the worker,
(b) an attempt to exercise physical force against a worker, in a workplace, that could cause physical injury to the worker,
(c) a statement or behaviour that it is reasonable for a worker to interpret as a threat to exercise physical force against the worker, in a workplace, that could cause physical injury to the worker. (“violence au travail”)
2. Section 25 of the Act is amended by adding the following subsection:
Same
stick_figure_group_bullying_400_wht_9796(3.1) Any explanatory material referred to under clause (2) (i) may be published as part of the poster required under section 2 of the Employment Standards Act, 2000.
3. The Act is amended by adding the following Part:
PART III.0.1
VIOLENCE AND HARASSMENT
Policies, violence and harassment

32.0.1 (1) An employer shall,
(a) prepare a policy with respect to workplace violence;
(b) prepare a policy with respect to workplace harassment; and
(c) review the policies as often as is necessary, but at least annually.
I’m not going to post the complete list of amendments involved in Bill 168, you get the idea, this is one piece of legislation, Statutes I will be relying on for “Kinden v Richcraft” and a number of others, all of which occurred in Ontario. I think it’s what’s needed right across the board, you can read the complete legislative Act Here, employers can get more information at “Reg Quest newsletter VOLUME 3, NO. 9” – SEPTEMBER 2010 entitled Bill 168: Employers’ Liability for Workplace Violence and Harassment Read the official article here from “The Legislative Assembly of Ontario”.

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What Happened? (Sept 10,2013)
Three Faces of Bullying
What Are Panic Attacks
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The Bullying Basics: Facts, Tips, and Help for Kids

kids-safe-playground-106677930cpi2013-logo-headerpp-header-top-2013-05-23As a parent, how do you help ensure your kid’s school and community are safe?

It’s important that children understand the different kinds of bullying and why people bully. eSchoolToday provides information and resources in their “Your Basic Facts & Tips on Bullying” lesson that go far beyond the basics. Kids also learn how they can prevent, cope with, and handle the effects of bullying, even if they’re just witnesses to the event.

eSchoolToday has tips for parents, too. One suggestion is for parents to develop a simple plan with their kids, empowering them to work on the issue. Another is to find out the school policies, including if there are anger or emotional management classes for kids.

For more help, our School Bullying Resources and References page is dedicated to helping prevent and control school and youth bullying, such as 10 Ways to Help Reduce Bullying in Schools. CPI_logo-75x75In addition, we offer a Bullying Behaviors refresher option for CPI Certified Instructors in your school district. What suggestions do you have for helping keep your children, school, and community safe?
Oh and don’t forget your free Bullying Prevention Resources Guide also from our trusted friends at CPI . empower-me

It Gets Better (November 13)

cropped-email-header-2011-12-291In October 2010, following an alarming spike in the suicides of bullied gay kids across the country, eight mental health professionals in Chicago gathered to respond. These mental health professionals have worked extensively within the gay and lesbian community. And they have something important to say to you, your families and your friends. Filmed and edited by Michael Stewart.

It started for GMCLA with this video. The movement grew dramatically. We have taken this video to the next step: it gets better Tour. On October 24th, 2010, members of GMCLA, along with their friends and supporters, gathered at Immanuel Presbyterian Church in Los Angeles to sing a song of hope. This is the result of that extraordinary afternoon.

NYC nightlife legend & comedian MURRAY HILL and his friends filmed an important message for the gay kids all over the world live from the Miss LEZ Pageant at the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn, New York. Many queer icons were in the house to share the love, like Michael Musto, World Famous *BOB*, JD Samson, Silas Howard, Bitch, Sarah Greenwood, and many others. All walks of life were present, loud and proud. Overheard in the audience, “It doesn’t get better, it gets f*%king awesome.” Video shot and edited by Jackson Memenza. Get to know Mister Showbiz.

The Columbus Children’s Choir and the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus from Ohio join together to raise their voices for the It Gets Better campaign. Reflect as they sing the lyrics, “Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say. Yes, words won’t bring us down” Please support www.itgetsbetter.org and www.thetrevorproject.org Dr. Sandra Mathias is the artistic director of the Columbus Children’s Choir. Their mission is Artistic Excellence and Personal Growth
through Music Education and Vocal Performance. Dr. Timothy Sarsany is the artistic director of the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus. Their mission is Voices Raised, Lives Changed.

“Victims” is a single from UK band Culture Club‘s album Colour by Numbers, released in 1983. As with most early Culture Club singles, the song is about Boy George’s then publicly unknown relationship with drummer Jon Moss. Although the group’s previous single “Karma Chameleon” had been a massive hit throughout the world, “Victims” was only issued in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Germany, and Australia. It peaked at #3 on the UK Singles Chart. In Ireland it peaked at #2, and in Australia it peaked at #4. Despite this global success, it was never released as a single in the United States.

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UK: Gay 14-year-old “bullied to death”

A British inquest is looking into the suicide of a 14-year-old boy, who took his own life after making 20 complaints about homophobic and racist bullying to his school.
Ayden_Keenan_Olson_Gay_Teen_Suicide_UKA British gay teen has killed himself after being ‘bullied to death’ at school, an inquest has heard. Ayden Keenan-Olson, 14, chose to take his own life by swallowing an overdose of prescription pills. He left two suicide notes saying how he could no longer cope with the homophobic and racist bullying he experienced at his school in Colchester, Essex. The inquest held this week heard how father Tim Olson found him dead in his bed on 14 March. Keenan-Olson had come out to his parents just before Christmas, three months before his death. His mother Shy Keenan, who works as a child abuse campaigner, broke down in tears during the hearing. As reported by The Telegraph, she said: Big Born Glad‘My job is to protect kids online but I could not keep my own son safe.’ Keenan added: ‘He said he was gay and had found somebody he thought he loved but it was not reciprocated. We didn’t care, we just loved him whatever.
Love_Logo‘After Christmas it was like talking to a different boy – since he was able to say out loud to people that he was gay.’ She described her son as sensitive and had wanted to start his own anti-bullying campaign. Keenan added how her son idolized gay TV presenter and human rights campaigner Gok Wan, but was suffering years of verbal and physical abuse from other pupils who often called him ‘Gok’. Philip Morant School’s head teacher confirmed the teen had reported up to 20 incidents of bullying since joining the school in 2010. A police investigation found, in the month leading up to his death, Keenan-Olson bypassed settings on his computer to research suicide methods.
He had tried to commit suicide six months prior to his death.
418188_405881509470347_548649433_nThe coroner Caroline Beasley-Murray recorded a verdict of suicide. She said it was not her job to attribute blame and made no finding regarding bullying or the school’s conduct. But she did say the court ‘regrets’ the influence suicide sites have on young people. Acting head teacher Robert James defended the school’s policies for how they dealt with the bullying. ‘As a school, our first priority is to make sure our students are safe,’ he said. ‘We very much share the coroner’s concerns about the influence of suicide sites on impressionable young people.’ Keenan is now lobbying for a new law to safeguard children online. She said: ‘We have to change the laws in this country to protect children. ‘We must remove suicide websites from the Internet – it’s got to happen. We can’t have young people taking their own lives whenever they face problems or difficulties.’ 18 November 2013 | By Joe Morgan.

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State of Out Youth

9071d8a4-3c62-495e-89d7-fbdec239dbda

– MORE THAN 1/2 OF LGBT YOUTH SAY THEY ARE OUT TO THEIR IMMEDIATE FAMILY. 1/4 ARE OUT TO THEIR EXTENDED FAMILY.
– 63% OF LGBT YOUTH SAY THEY WILL NEED TO MOVE TO ANOTHER PART OF THE COUNTRY TO FEEL ACCEPTED.
– 81.9% OF LGBT STUDENTS REPORTED BEING VERBALLY HARASSED AT SCHOOL IN THE PAST YEAR BECAUSE OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
– LGBT YOUTH ARE 4 TIMES MORE LIKELY TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE AS THEIR STRAIGHT PEERS.
– 33% OF LGBT YOUTH SAY THEIR FAMILY IS NOT ACCEPTING OF LGBT PEOPLE.
– FAMILY REJECTION IS THE MOST FREQUENTLY CITED REASON FOR LGBT YOUTH HOMELESSNESS.

CYNDI LAUPER Co-founder, True Colors Fund
images (7)A Grammy, Emmy and Tony award winning artist with 30 sterling years and global record sales in excess of 50 million, Cyndi Lauper has proven that she has the heart and soul to keep her legion of fans compelled by her every creative move. The past year has proven to be another amazing period for this career artist as Lauper released her New York Times Best Selling autobiography – Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir – published by Simon & Schuster, wrote the original score for the Tony award winning best musical Kinky Boots, partnered with Mark Burnett on the docu-series, Cyndi Lauper: Still So Unusual that aired on WE tv, and continued her philanthropic work through her foundation, the True Colors Fund. Helping others has always been a guiding force for Cyndi. An unwavering advocate for equality long before she became famous, she co-founded the True Colors Fund in 2008 to further her commitment. The organization works to inspire everyone to get involved in advancing equality for all through its Give a Damn Campaign and to bring an end to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth homelessness through its Forty to None Project.

It Gets Better Template

Adult Bullying: Harassment By People You Respect

Where-Monsters-Dwell-wide-560x282This by far is the most amazing concept I’ve heard yet, my abusers have given themselves a name, “Monsters Of The Web” and then some. Click on “adult Cyber-Bullying” below, this will give you an excellent example of CYBER-BULLYING but is a lame attempt on their part, most likely written and published for the monsters to discredit me, it holds no truth, and I am totally amazed but then again I’m not, that Google would endorse their name on it, an attempt that would make it more believable if you just consider the source it’s coming from with a closed mind, don’t you think?, and besides that, guess who out of the blue sent me this post today? you guessed it “GOOGLE”, and get a load of the name “GOOGLE BOMB” 🙂 yup that’s right, this I have encountered many times, and believe it or not, they (1%) only print what they want us to believe, which is more then not always the truth, more fiction than anything else. I’m sure the fiction writers here can relate, 🙂 your jealousy and dishonesty will not favor you, nor will it save you. google_bomb_543807590I will remain here and continue my quest. Also YES facebook IS a diary, journal, history book, what ever you want to call it, because it’s based on one’s own life, experiences and existence, but if it’s not a Diary as you call it, answer me this then, WHAT IS IT?? I call it a social tool…and in regards to hanging my dirty laundry out on Social Media, is the Best move I have made all my life, and I will do it all over again, it got me a “Scholarship”. You see there is always two sides to every story, social media is the best and only way sometimes of getting your side of the story heard, when you are faced to fight money, power and dishonesty & deception, so I can’t stress enough, be BRAVE and tell your stories to the world and save yourselves form the MONSTERS, because they are in woof PACKS here on WordPress (Mobbing). I have not named the Author of this post because that would be calling her a cyber-Bully?? and this post contains nothing we haven’t heard 100 times already, Anyway enjoy this one because it’s 60% based on fiction and stands no legal, medical or any other ground, with a few exceptions of course, it’s a shame how inexperience is so obvious. I guess they (1%) are running scared? cheers lotsa luv to one and all. 🙂
The Author writes, Adult bullying is more prevalent than many want to admit. If you’re old enough to pay a mortgage or raise a family, shouldn’t you be able to handle anything that comes your way? But bullying doesn’t come to a standstill after graduating from the playground, and giving grown-ups a pass on aggressive behavior only sets a bad example for our children still on the playground.
link-profile-of-web-monstersA while back, I discussed the case of a parent who felt the need to air her laundry (dirty and clean) all over her Facebook timeline. Her thoughts were broadcasted publicly, even for her children to see. Additionally, a group of mothers recently took to Facebook to bash pictures of toddlers. These behaviors make kids think: if my own mother can bully, then why can’t I?
In case we needed another reminder that no one — not even 300-pound offensive linemen — is immune to being victimized look no further than the Jonathan Martin case earlier this month. Bullying is entrenched in the NFL, as is the idea that what goes on in the locker room, should stay in the locker room — including hazing. The incessant tormenting from Martin’s teammate, Richie Incognito, forced him to take leave from the team and admit himself to a hospital for emotional distress.
Young athletes and children look up to these major league athletes. Allowing this culture of “manning up” to be the status quo is effectively letting kids know that harassment is acceptable in sports.
2013-11-11-ThinkTwiceSnapJust toughen up. Isn’t this what some parents communicate to their kids when they are harassed by a fellow student or teammate?
Last week, an article from SFGate shed new light on workplace bullying. Over one-third of our country’s workforce has experienced bullying, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute, and 72 percent of the cases are instigated by a superior, boss, or supervisor.
How can we possibly rationalize this behavior in adults? It’s indisputable that grown-ups should know better, and the fact that they continue to harass is despicable. And today, bullying often happens online, which creates a long-lasting emotional sting.
Cyberbullying allows cruelty at all ages to play out in a 24-7 arena. I have felt, and survived, the pain of being a victim of adult cyberbullying. We always hear about how brutal children can be, but if you consider “toddler bashing” mothers, Richie Incognito, as well as certain workplace superiors you will soon realize that plenty adults are downright malicious. (And Madame your Not?)
download (1)Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram aren’t the only outlets for cyberbullying. Since more and more adults are logging into social networks, be aware of apps like Snapchat, as well. (Image via #TakeNoBullies.)
Your keyboard can be used as a lethal weapon today, and sadly more adults have caught on. Replace those cyber-bullets with words of kindness. As a grown-up you need to lead by example. Every post you make public, every text message you send, every email you write, should exhibit respect for yourself and others.
Thankfully, there are reasons to be optimistic amidst all of the negativity in the news. Many kids are already learning that it’s cool to care at all ages, and that combating cruelty with kindness isn’t all that difficult. From teachers, to students, to entire communitiesparents can make a difference by acting as cyber-shields, Myself Terry Kinden as a Anti-Bullying Activist and a life time survivor and expert on Bullying cannot believe you actually have the audacity.
images (5)
Takeaway tips:
Speak and type with respect, because words wound.
• Be a digitally conscious adult and learn more about digital citizenship.
• Educate yourself on tips for dealing with workplace bullying. Even though you might not be a victim, you should know how to react when you encounter harassment in your office.
• NFL players should take a lesson from Middle School Football Players.
Now Madame Bully, practice what you preach….Posted: 11/12/2013 1:09 pm by The Huffington Post

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Italian gay student made 10 calls to suicide hotlines before he jumped

Before a Rome medical student jumped off an 11 story building, he made frequent calls crying for help over the homophobia he faced at university
800px-Palermo_Against_Homophobia_8A gay medical student made 10 calls to suicide hotlines before he jumped, it was revealed yesterday (6 November).
Italian police acquired ten phone calls made by Simone D, the gay man in Rome who killed himself over homophobia at the end of October.
‘I can understand people who commit suicide,’ he said to the anti-homophobia contact center.
Simone’s phone calls were recorded in the last two months. ‘I study at the university and when I walk along the corridors, my mates call me “faggot”. They joke about me,’ he said in another phone call.
‘I am fed up of jokes and discrimination. It has been happening since I was at the primary school. Then it happened again at the high school and now it’s happening at the university.’
The Roman police is now investigating for incitement to suicide, but a source told Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera ‘it will be very difficult to find the real criminals.’

Simone, 21, killed himself by jumping from the 11th floor of a former pasta factory on 27 October. His last name has not been made publicly known.

‘I’m gay,’ he said, in a note discovered after his death. ‘Italy is a free country but there is homophobia. Those who have these attitudes must deal with their conscience.’
Authorities believe the 21-year-old had been suffering harassment at his internship at the Policlinico Umberto, the largest public hospital in Italy.

A remembrance day organized by the main Italian LGBTI associations followed his death.

In the last call, he said: ‘Hi, my name is Simone and I am 21. They always joked about me. Life is really hard.’

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The Day I Died

THE DAY I DIED A film about a secret video that destroys the friendship between two teens and leads one to the brink of a tragic decision.
BULLYING NEEDS TO STOP 3.2 MILLION children in grades sixth through ten, nearly ONE out of every SIX kids, are bullied each year.
THE DAY I DIED
This film will be an engaging and poignant story that surfaces the honest and raw truth behind bullying. It’s a story that should be told. The script, from writer ADAM C. BLOOM, will be directed by MICHAEL EMANUEL and produced by MICHAEL EMANUEL and DAVID REIVERS. It will be executive produced by TED STANFORD, GLEN REYNOLDS and CORBIN BLEU, from HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL and DANCING WITH THE STARS, who will also star in a pivotal role as the first year drama teacher who serves as the moral rudder in our movie.
PLEASE READ – AN IMPORTANT NOTICE ABOUT OUR FUNDING
We know that we’re asking for a lot of money… $500,000. We also know that’s a steep mountain to climb and that’s why we think it’s important for you to know that we are dedicated to getting this movie made, one way or the other. Not reaching that goal will not stop us. Yes, in a perfect world, we would raise the full $500,000 and have all the funds we need to go out and make this film the way we want. However, if we don’t reach our goal, we can, and will, use whatever we do raise here on Indiegogo and put it towards this anti-bullying cause and getting this story told. This story and this cause is something that we’re passionate about and if you’re reading this, chances are you’re passionate about this, too. We sincerely hope that you consider donating to this cause and, if you do, do know that we’ll be using every last penny towards making THE DAY I DIED. We will make a change!
THE STORY
16-years-old Cameron is struggling to come to terms with his homosexuality. He is too ashamed to share what he’s going through with his prejudiced father, or even with his best friend Kelsie. She is outgrowing their friendship, and so desperate to fit in with the popular crowd that she fails to notice the physical and emotional abuse Cameron is enduring at school from other boys who suspect he’s gay.
When Kelsie stumbles on Cameron during a moment of sexual exploration with another boy, she secretly captures the moment on her cell phone. In an attempt to gain favor with the popular kids, she betrays Cameron by showing the tape to a fellow classmate. The tape spreads like wildfire, and Cameron is now the victim of brutal bullying. As his world seemingly collapses around him, Cameron is so desperate for relief that he is drawn to the brink of a tragic decision.
WHY INDIEGOGO?
We chose INDIEGOGO for two reasons. Firstly, if successful, INDIEGOGO allows us the creative freedom to make the film the way we feel it needs to be made – based on reality. Bullying is malicious, anxiety-provoking, and can be deadly. We want this film to represent that, and in turn, bring awareness and positive change to schools and communities around the world.
Secondly, INDIEGOGO’s crowdsourcing format allows us to connect with our audience in a unique way. Through both our INDIEGOGO and Facebook page, we look forward to hearing from and working with our backers and supporters to both raise awareness of our film, as well as bullying at large. This will be a collaborative effort and we NEED YOUR HELP!
INDIEGOGO is the best funding platform available, and because of its success, we have been so fortunate to witness many great art, music and film projects brought to life. This film, The Day I Died, is as much yours as it is ours… and we need you on our team. The more people that get involved, the more people we’ll reach, which means the bigger change we’ll make! Please help us by donating and spreading the word. Share this link; “Like” us on Facebook; tweet about us; email your friends, family and co-workers!
Together we’ll make a difference in the lives of those victim to bullying.
THE TEAM
If you want more information, want to read about our team or if you’d like to contact us, please go to our website or find us on Facebook.

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empower-me

Cyber Bullying Has Devastating Impact on LGBT Students

1106_rotator_right2bme_2A new study from the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) sheds new light on cyber bullying its consequences on our youth. And while this report is billed as the “first of its kind,” all of us who work with youth-serving nonprofits know the storyline all too well.
Facebook taunting, intimidating e-mails, graphic snap-chats – these types of bullying happen every minute of every day. This report by GLSEN helps inform yet another aspect of how pervasive bullying really is in our communities.
But let’s take a step back and ask: Why is this really a problem in the LGBT Community? According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness:

Roughly 25 percent of LGBT students report missing school due to fear of victimization.
• 90 percent of LGBT youth report being harassed or assaulted over the past school year.
• Stigma attached to LGBT youth put them at higher risks for anxiety, depression, substance abuse and suicide.
• LGBT youth are 20-40 percent more likely to contemplate and attempt suicide compared to their heterosexual counterparts.
• Individuals experiencing harassment and victimization experience poorer academic outcomes and psychological health.

1106_rotator_respectla13_recapFrom an organizational standpoint, these numbers are astounding. From a young man who went through this type of cyber bullying when coming out, I can honestly tell you it is simply heartbreaking. So much has changed over the last 15 years, but hate never fades into the background; it just finds new machinations.
But why spend all of our time looking at this issue as simply a problem? The Internet, in all its splendid glory, is a double-edged sword, which makes this GLSEN report even more compelling. When examined, the report breathes hope into this community. It reminds individuals that the Internet, especially for rural youth, offers resources and information that could never be available to them otherwise. Youth are able to express themselves anonymously in online spaces in ways that they may not be able to do in their physical space.
The LGBT Center of Raleigh has an extensive library and great programming, but we’ve also gone to great lengths to ensure that all of our outreach and educational materials are clear and easily accessible on our website. Our newsletter always includes events happening in the Triangle. Our Twitter and Facebook feeds are filled with uplifting stories, breaking LGBT news, fun facts, and other engaging resources that individuals can access from anywhere in the world. Making every resource available digitally and anonymously, we hope to reach the invisible majority of our youth. The take-away from the GLSEN report is simple: LGBT youth have huge, unmet needs, but by being more aware of the inherent systems in place, we can empower youth and community organizations to enhance our outreach and improve our kids’ health and wellness.
Understandably, many of us can look into the not so distant past to remember a time when there was no such thing as the Internet. This simple fact does not negate its importance, but it should force the reader to remember one distinct fact: Times change, and our research and outreach must change with it.

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empower-me

Anti-Gay Christianity Claims Another Life

This is Carlos Vigil, of Valencia County, N.M., just south of Albuquerque:
2013-07-16-CarlosVigilBy all accounts, Carlos was a terrific young man: compassionate, thoughtful, kind, actively engaged in helping young people deal with the devastating effects of being bullied. Being bullied was something Carlos knew much too much about. He was gay, and for that he had been relentlessly bullied for as long as he could remember. Finally, as he was set to enter his senior year of high school, that bullying proved too much for him. On July 13, Carlos posted this online:
2013-07-16-Carlossuicidenote
1337969316_bully2And then he hurt himself so badly that, three days later, his family took him off life support. Carlos is now in a place where no one is ever bullied. Bullies bully because they feel empowered to do so. And why do bullies in America feel particularly empowered to victimize gay people? If you’re wondering about the answer to that question, you’re only pretending to, because you know why. We all do. American bullies feel empowered to freely hound, denigrate, and beat up LGBT people because they live in a country historically and culturally defined by, and everywhere infused with, Christianity. And the ubiquitous “traditional values” brand of Christianity (as opposed to the Christianity in which I believe) has long and very actively taught that being gay is a reprehensible moral abomination, an offense against God so foul that divine justice demands that in the afterlife gay people be punished by spending eternity having the living flesh burned off their bones. imagesMany American bullies who victimize gay people do so confident, at one level or another, that they are furthering the cause of God — just like the pastor up the street, or the pastor on the radio, or the pastor on TV, or the pastor at the head of any of the infinite number of Christian “ministries” that trade in the hectoring of gay people. Anti-gay theology and physical brutality are as near as the church pulpit is to the street outside the church. If you’re a Christian who believes that being gay is a sin, then tonight, after you’ve turned off the lights and laid your head down to sleep, take a moment, please, to listen into the darkness.

Fan: Jamey loved Lady Gaga and left a thank you to her as one of his last postings before he died
Fan: Jamey loved Lady Gaga and left a thank you to her as one of his last postings before he died
Fan: Jamey loved Lady Gaga and left a thank you to her as one of his last postings before he died Hear that distant, horrific scream? That’s yet another gay teen being piteously tortured by a bully acting out the theology that you subscribe to and support. It’s the sound of another young gay person accepting as true about himself or herself what Carlos so heartbreakingly expressed finally and ineradicably believing to be true about himself: that he was born a freak unworthy of ever loving or being loved. That scream is, or should be, your “Christian” conscience. See also: “Taking God at His Word: The Bible and Homosexuality,” which shows that the notion that God condemns homosexuality is anything but biblical; “Christians and the Blood of Jamey Rodemeyer”; and this cartoon, which I made to be watched until its very end.
Posted: July 17, 2013 at 8:40 pm, by the Award-winning author; blogger at JohnShore.com.

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7 Ways To Protect Yourself If Your Boss Is a Bully

Steps you can take to stop being a victim of workplace bullying
1823869_370Last week, I answered a question from a “used and abused” reader who was facing a workplace bully. I talked about five ways that your workplace bully might be breaking the law. Today, I’ll tell you some things you can do, starting today, to protect yourself if your boss is a bully.
Here are seven things you can do, starting today, to protect yourself if your boss is a bully:
1. CYA: If your boss tells you to do things, then denies it later, document everything. If she tells you, for instance, to do something you know violates company policy, send her an email along these lines: “This will confirm your instruction that you want me to do XYZ even though this would normally be contrary to Policy No. 123. Unless you advise me that this is incorrect by (insert a time), I will follow your instruction forthwith.”
2. Don’t be insubordinate: If the bully tries to bait you, don’t react. Be calm. He’s trying to get uyou to do something stupid so he can say you were insubordinate. As much as you want to grab him by the collar, don’t do it. If he orders you to do something, even if it’s demeaning, do it (unless it’s unsafe or illegal). Then document it. Use it as evidence if you figure out that he’s engaging in discrimination or something else illegal.
3. Keep track of the bullying targets: While bullying at work isn’t illegal in any state, workplace bullies are just like the old playground bullies. Who do bullies target? The weak and the different. If your coworkers and you (or just you) are being targeted because of race, age, sex, religion, national origin, pregnancy, disability, taking Family and Medical Leave, making a worker’s compensation claim or some other protected category, then the bully is breaking the law.
4. Safety in numbers: Let’s say the bully isn’t doing anything illegal, like discrimination. If jby0295lhe’s picking on coworkers too (and you aren’t a supervisor yourself) then you are allowed to discuss working conditions with coworkers. The National Labor Relations Act protects most non-government employees against retaliation for these discussions with coworkers. You’re also protected against retaliation if a group of coworkers gets together to complain about working conditions. If you complain on your own behalf as well as at least one other coworker, you are probably protected against retaliation even if you aren’t protected when you complain for yourself alone. So get together and write a complaint to HR signed by the bully’s targets. It will possibly go in his personnel file and might even get the company to take some action.
5. Complain so you’re protected: If you’re alone, and you still want to complain, make sure you complain about something the bully is doing that’s illegal. For example, if you’ve figured out that she’s targeting older employees, then call it a “Formal Complaint of Age Discrimination.” Put it in writing and lay out all the evidence you have of ways younger employees are favored over older employees, ways older employees are targeted for discipline that younger employees don’t get, age-related comments, promotions going to younger employees, anything you have that makes your point. Don’t focus on “unfair treatment” or bullying. Focus on what’s illegal. That way you’ll be legally protected against retaliation.
6. Don’t quit without having a job: If the bully is intolerable, then leave, but do it when you jfa0007lhave something lined up. Don’t let a bully force you out of a job you need to support your family and you. Because discrimination against the unemployed is still legal in most states, it’s easier to get a job if you have a job.
7. Start looking: It may seem obvious, but I can’t tell you how many people come to me after they were fired, and they’d been tortured for years. I ask why they didn’t get the heck out of there and they look at me funny. Sometimes, if a boss is abusive, the bully can convince you nobody would hire you, and that you’re worthless. They’re wrong. Don’t wait until you’re fired. Leave on your own terms, not the bully’s.
With a little preparation, you can survive a bully and even come out on top of a workplace bullying situation.

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Say “NO” to Cyberbullying!

imagesfrom: Terry Kinden
to: “HRTO-Registrar (JUS)”,
“jdempster@sympatico.ca”
date: Tue, Oct 29, 2013 at 12:10 PM
subject: Ruling Request 2012-12852-I
Registrar
The file 2012-12852-I was filed on Oct 29,2012, HRTO rules say a ruling within one year. Knowing that the “APPLICANT” hereby request the HRTO’s decision in the matters Kinden v Richcraft Group of Companies.
Have a awesome day
lotsa Luv

Melvin T Kinden
14-36 rue Tasse
Gatineau, QC
J8Z1S4

H-819.595.2094
Cyberbullying Victimization. We define cyberbullying as: “Cyberbullying is when someone repeatedly harasses, mistreats, or makes fun of another person online or while using cell phones or other electronic devices.” Approximately 20% of the students in our sample report experiencing cyberbullying in their lifetimes. When asked about specific types of cyberbullying in the previous 30 days, mean or hurtful comments (13.7%) and rumors spread (12.9%) online continue to be among the most commonly-cited. Seventeen percent of the sample reported being cyberbullied in one or more of the nine types reported, two or more times over the course of the previous 30 days.

Cyberbullying Offending. We define cyberbullying as: “Cyberbullying is when someone repeatedly harasses, mistreats, or makes fun of another person online or while using cell phones or other electronic devices.” Approximately 20% of the students in our sample admitted to cyberbullying others in their lifetimes. Posting mean or hurtful comments and spreading rumors online were the most commonly reported types of cyberbullying they reported during the previous 30 days. About 11% of the sample reported cyberbullying using one or more of the nine types reported, two or more times over the course of the previous 30 days.
Daniel Goleman is an internationally known psychologist, author, and science journalist. Goleman wrote the New York Times bestseller Emotional Intelligence; his latest book is Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence. Goleman is also a co-founder of the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL). Keep up to date with Goleman on Twitter or on his website. Video release date: 10/8/13

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Harrowing Poem of Girl Driven to Suicide by Bullying Trolls

stop-bullyingA bullied schoolgirl who was driven to suicide by trolls wrote a heart-breaking poem about how her tormenters ‘chiselled away’ at her. Izzy Dix, 14, told how she was ‘drowning in a sea of emotions’ as she struggled to deal with vile taunts from other pupils and cruel online jibes – some on controversial website Ask.fm. Ask.fm has already been linked to the suicides of nine young people in less than a year, with Izzy’s name tragically bringing that number to ten. Her mum Gabbi has made her daughter’s poem public to show the anguish and pain bullying can cause. She said: “I know this may be uncomfortable for people to read but this is what was going on in my daughter’s life before she died. In her own words, this is how she was feeling. “I want young people to think about the potential impact of their behaviour before they act. “We all need to be motivated by love and kindness, not nastiness and hate.” The final straw for Izzy came when she was snubbed by youngsters at a music festival. She fled home in tears and wrote the harrowing poem called I Give Up. Izzy’s devastated mum said she spent hours trying to console her daughter after the festival and looking at ways to deal with the problem. Izzy was found dead by her mum at their home in Brixham, Devon, on September 17 – two months after the music festival. The youngster’s poem was read out at her funeral – as mourners, including her many friends, broke down and wept. Gabbi launched an online petition calling on the Government to ban Ask.fm. It has attracted more than 8000 signatures. She has also lodged a complaint with Izzy’s school, Brixham Community College, about their bullying policies. Police are not treating Izzy’s death as suspicious. An inquest will be held at a later date. By Keith Kendrick Oct 25, 2013
EXCERPTS FROM IZZY’S POEM
izzy-dix-1382700895My palms, clammy,

My cheeks, streaming,

My neck, sweating.

I walk quickly away from the chanting & laughing,

My vision, spinning,

My heart, beginning to break.

I look down and walk,

My eyes drowning in a sea of emotion.

Another piece of me chiselled away by their cruel remarks and perceptions,

I give up.

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In Good & God We Trust

hands godThank you so much for signing up to volunteer for BETTERLegal. We are happy to announce that our first online training will be held on Saturday, June 1st. As we get closer to that day, we will announce a specific time and provide more details to you. Since the program launched on April 2nd, we have had over 100 law students and lawyers like you sign up to participate to use it gets better videos and materials to help support the work that legal services organizations are doing for the LGBT community. In addition, we have already partnered with Lambda Legal, the ACLU of Southern California, the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund and we are working on partnerships with over 20 other organizations who have reached out to us. We are glad to have you on our team and look forward to the amazing things that we will accomplish together! Sincerely, Elliot Rozenberg, Director, BETTERLegal
For more information and to find out how it works.
god1There are those of us that have a burning or yearning, the thoughts of what excatly is going through the mind at that very moment, putting it bluntly, they shoot themselves, take an overdose or hang themselves, it’s that moment when it will all finally stop, you will be free finally, that’s how bad it can be, believing something so horrific, is the only answer, only to find yourself very dead as well, they end their life (Pain). I honestly can say I know, because at the age of just 19 years old, “I” a failed suicide attempt, as they say “Been There-Done That” I was there and know all the terrible feelings of hurt and pain, and how much you pray for it to stop but never did, until I realized that it was GOD who decided my faith at that moment, he said no my son not now I have things I need you to do for me, but let it be known, I will not decide for you how your life will be, Good or Bad?, nor will I make life wonderful for you, throns of Christ“No” I won’t, as only you have that power, but if you trust me, let me lead the way, I will see you have all that you will need, courage, strength, knowledge and Guidance, you may not see me but I will be at your side no matter what, as long as you follow me you will succeed. at this point I’m Feeling really bad, for my sin and cannot look God in the eye, with tears in my eyes asking GOD for forgiveness, saying over and over how truly sorry I was..he said do not be sorry my son, for I have an abundance of forgiveness just follow me, so I did! the crossA difficult task for some but if you really tried to replace feelings of HATE with LOVE and understanding, you will see it’s a positive step in changing the world. We all have the ability to Hate, we also have the ability to love, always try to choose Love because LoveWorks. In closing, I am sincerely honored for the opportunity to be of assistance and associated with “BetterLegal” and the “It Gets Better Project” So I want to share my sincere gratitude and say thank you very much to Mr. Dan Savage, creator of the “It Gets Better Project” and Mr. Elliot Rozenberg, Director, “BetterLegal” for enabling me this opportunity to participate and offer my assistance for the wellness and security of all LGBTQI people’s …Lotsa Luv 🙂

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